team penis

holy shit Y’ALL! it’s here! it’s finally here!!!

where prepubescent boys use their father’s old dirty magazines to bust one out, pre-tweens all over the world finally have material THEY can use to send their beavers into their own magical oblivion.

vibrators must have an all time high record sales. good for them!

i wish i was a turkey

i kind of want a gobbler. i also kind of want it to be ok to be as stupid as a turkey.

when it rains, and a turkey looks up, it is too stupid to put it’s head back down and therefore drowns itself as water fills it’s open mouth.

it’s cool tho, they’re just turkeys ya know.

troung speaks… again!

lie. he wrote something this time. it consisted of;

j – jaloppy
o – octopussy
h – hella
n – nipple

t – tattoo
r – radiant
u – umbrella
o – octopussy
n – nipple
g – gangsta

or at least i think that is what it said. it was not really legible…

we have cookies….

if i made a bumper sticker that said, “join the white side”, do you think people would call me racist?

what’s the difference between a motel and a hotel?

a ‘m’ and a ‘h’.

in other notes. germans have taken over motel 6 with the power of ikea.

santa barbara does not know the meaning of ghetto apparently.

yodele he who?

i went on vacation this weekend, and while i was sitting bitch in the backseat of an extremely packed chevy hhr, i was gazing off poetically at the hills astray with their majestic beauty and lonely golden humps and i thought to myself… how come nobody yodels anymore? if i could do it, i would take great pride in my skill. that shit is hard work. you need great lung capacity and no shame in the way you dress to be a yodeler.

that was extremely politically incorrect of me. i totally forgot you have to have a great liver.

ps. how come when you google image of yodelers, the majority of images are cowboys? google, you slay me.

herro dinglehopper.

i found this little bandito in my purse the other night. after much debate on weather to toss or keep my new friend, i decided i would adopt… an elephant. just kidding. except not about the adoption. so her name is herbert, and she is the start to my new collection. you know… kind of like how michael jackson collects plastic surgeons. excited face.

truong speaks.

this is truong. he says lots of things. today he said;

“go team bikini!”

fascinating.

my definition of the word: bollocks.

bollocks. apparently this word means testicles. i disagree.

the new meaning of this word is balls over oxes. or on them if you prefer.

cockroaches.

burritos. they are rather delectable. beany cheesy goodness. delicious. enjoyable. agreeable. ambrosial. appetizing. swell. dainty. darling. delicate. delightful. divine. enticing. exquisite. gratifying. heavenly. inviting. luscious. or lush for short… palatable. pleasant. rare. sapid. satisfying. savory. scrumptious. tasty. toothsome. yummy.

i love you thesaurus.com